One Goal - Two outcomes - Different Styles When Parenting Athletes

Every athlete has a different story, maybe you overcame an injury, powered through setbacks to reach a goal, or even beat the odds to prove something to yourself. All stories are different and all stories are important. This blog follows the fictional yet educational story of two young softball players named Madison and Katie.

Madison and Katie both played the same positions on the same team and they were best friends. The two girls were both driven, skilled, and kind young athletes who shared a common goal; to get recruited and play in college. In the end one achieved this goal and one did not due to three key-factors.

1. Coaching

   - Madison knew the way she was being treated by her coach was unfair and inappropriate. When it got to be too much she talked to her parents who helped her come up with the best solution. Leave the team.

   - Katie also knew that the way she was being treated was not okay, but when she went to her parents they did not believe her. They told her that if she worked harder her coach would be more reasonable.

   
   

2. Parenting

   - Madison was nervous to tell her parents but she knew that they only ever wanted what was best for her. Her parents pushed her but never beyond her limits, and they valued learning over perfection. When Madison was ready to open up about the coach her parents knew that an unsafe environment would do nothing but kill her love for the sport so they took her off of the team and protected her from lasting damage to her confidence and ambition.

   - Katie was also nervous to talk to her parents because she knew that even though they cared about her when it came to school and sports they were never the most understanding. Her parents were always critical of her work ethic and would constantly compare her to other athletes. When Katie tried to talk to them she was brushed off and forced to continue playing for an abusive coach.

   
   

3. Environment

   - Madison grew up surrounded by positive role models and in an environment where she was encouraged to talk about her feelings and take breaks when she was overwhelmed. Madison was taught that making mistakes meant that she was learning and that there is a positive way to view every fumble and strikeout.

   - Katie grew up in an environment where off days meant weakness. Love and respect were based off of how well she performed. The only acceptable outcome was perfection.

The Outcome

• Madison continued to play softball all throughout high school and later accepted an offer from her top college to be on their roster. Madison understood that every strikeout and fumble had shaped her into the player she had become. She knew that support from parents and family was the best kind of support to have and that she could survive every tough practice and game with a positive mindset and caring coaches.

  
  

• Katie continued to play softball as well but in her junior year of high school when college recruiters started watching she crumbled under the pressure. The pressure to impress her coach whose favorites change on a daily basis was crushing. The pressure to be perfect for her parents who focused on every mess up was suffocating. The pressure to keep it all together was nauseating. Katie couldn't handle it anymore and quit.

In the end it is important that athletes feel supported, cared for, and safe. Madison was able to escape abuse with the support of her parents. Her uplifting environment got her through every error and kept her loving the sport. Katie was forced to stay with an abusive coach who took every opportunity to tear her down and her parents did nothing but compare her to her teammates and demand perfection. Eventually Katie burnt out and her love for the sport disappeared.

Be like Madison's parents and coaches, not Katie's.